Doing Less Is Still Hard
On burnout, rest, and learning the same lesson over and over
Content Note: Mentions burnout, chronic pain, sensory overwhelm, and autistic shutdown.
I’ve been trying to do less for years now. And maybe that’s the problem, the “trying” part.
Allowing myself to rest is still incredibly difficult. Something I know many of us struggle with.
The momentum of the world these days is so amped up, it can feel impossible to just stop, like being left behind. It can cause whiplash that feels sickening in its guilt and shame.
I’ve always felt my Capricorn sensibilities strongly. I relate deeply to imagery of the goat climbing up that mountain towards the same goal forever. It’s a blessing and a curse, because it’s this intrinsic motivation that has made being my own boss as a freelance artist possible. But it also means I struggle to rest, I struggle to take vacations, to turn off my work brain.
Proof of this is last year. While moving countries twice and care-taking for my partner undergoing a bone marrow transplant, I wrote 32 Substack essays, released my debut album, and pumped out 2-3 pieces of content on Instagram and TikTok every week. All while under debilitating chronic pain and autistic burnout.
When November 2025 hit, I crumbled. I spent the first month and a half of my yearly creative hibernation break unable to leave the house, barely able to move from my chair or bed, reading 28 romantasy books. I’ve always had sensory issues, but my senses were on high alert to a degree I had not experienced before. Scents, sounds, light, and the feeling of clothing against my skin were unbearable. It was frightening.
I’m still slowly clawing my way back to baseline now, 3 months later. I stopped consuming any type of video content for the first 3 weeks of that break, no TV, no social media. Not like a digital detox, but simply because the sensory impact of moving images was too much for me to bear. I kept reading as my main activity, and this helped me to regain a small footing.
But I’m still in it. Writing right now is hard. I’m easing in, my friends.
So I thought I’d share my goals and intentions for the year. I consider these every year around January 1st. My categories are professional goals, personal goals, intentions, and mantras. I start by freewriting some loose thoughts, thinking about the year past, what worked and what didn’t, what I want more of, what’s calling to me. A gut check.
I knew right away that I wanted to do much less this year:
January 1, 2026
Here’s what I know. I simultaneously did way too much in 2025 while at the same time always feeling like I wasn’t doing enough. That needs to stop.
Last year I started a 5 year journal, and this year it’s been so fun to see what I wrote one year ago on the same day. The first day of the year was already enlightening. I had just written my goals and intentions when I took a peek at January 1st, 2025. My jaw dropped. It was almost phrase-for-phrase the conclusions I had come to this year: that I consistently gaslight myself into thinking I’m not doing enough, while simultaneously doing way too much.
Some lessons need to be learned many times over many years, huh?
So I want my goals for this year to be much less, much easier, more focused and simplified.
With that knowledge, I cut back my professional goals in a way I have never done before, only choosing two focuses for the year ahead: Substack and Music. A big energy and time drain from last year is notably being dropped: Instagram and TikTok!
Professional Goals
Substack
2-3 Essays per month February - October
4,000 Subscribers
40 Paid Subscribers
Music
Complete (my part of) Album 02 (ie. what I can do myself: recording and editing final vocals, finalizing lyrics and songwriting)
Begin working on my Substack release plan (a secret project that I can’t wait to share!)
My personal goals this year center mainly around things I want to do just for myself, like hobbies that I don’t share online and health adjacent activities. My thought is that if I give myself ideas of activities I can do that I find enriching and relaxing, perhaps I can replace some of my workaholic energy with these on my to do list instead.
Personal Goals
More Hobbies!
Painting and watercoloring
Read 80 books
Puzzles
Letter writing
Photography
Field journaling
Dreaming up cute outfits
Bird watching
Playing piano and singing
Weekly Finance Check-in
Meditation, Red Light Therapy, Somatic Release 4-5x a week
Daily Journaling
Physical Therapy & Walking 4-5x a week
More Nature Time
My intentions this year feel like they continue seamlessly from where I’ve been journeying for a while now. The past few years felt like first I had to get my mind right. I was coming from a lifetime of berating and barraging and putting myself down mentally. My inner world frankly scared me as a teenager and into my twenties. I felt cursed to live inside my own mind.
But as I’ve begun to heal these mental wounds, as I’ve learned to mother myself, accept myself, and hype myself up in my own mind, I’ve been slowly coming to the conclusion that it’s time to start getting my body involved too.
My focus is swinging towards somatic work, nervous system work, letting go of control within my body, letting go of expectation. Less tension and silencing. More sighing, moving when I need to move, leaving when I need to leave.
Intentions
To Mother Myself
To love myself without judgement.
To allow myself the space and support to feel whatever I need to feel.
To speak up for my needs.
To Show My Body It’s Safe Now
To allow my body movement/stimming/sighing/shaking/cocooning/snuggling/resting.
To let go of sexual expectations.
To find my own pleasure in a space of peace, safety, relaxation.
To Let Go of Control
There is pain, but I am not in pain.
Mantras
My body is safe now. I am safe now.
I am not in control.
I love my body exactly as it is.
I want to be in my body even when it’s hurting.
There is pain, but I am not in pain. (this one is adapted from How To Be Sick)
Something I’ve put into practice for many years is the magic of tiny changes over time. Even 3 minutes a day will change the trajectory of your life. Making your goals feel easy, even on hard days, is a huge life hack. It means you don’t ever feel like you’ve failed, and that makes continuing so much easier. I wrote a whole essay about this!
The thing about growth is, it isn’t linear. It’s an ebb and flow. A zigzag. A circle. So it isn’t really surprising that I’ve been striving for the same ease for many years now.
This year feels different though. I feel more flexible than I have before. Like if something I wrote on January 1st doesn’t feel right by May 5th, I’m willing to change it. I also feel tired. So tired. And in that exhaustion, more willing to say no to things that don’t fit my professional goals this year. I feel more certain that I know what I want. I trust myself more. And in that trust, I’m less likely to be pulled off my path by something that may be shiny, enticing, but ultimately unaligned.
Either way, whether I’m writing the same thing January 1st, 2027 or whether I’ve finally learned to cut back, I know the journey has been worth it. That’s the whole part. The only part. That’s where we live. Where we learn. Where we double back to learn again.
What has your body been asking for that your mind keeps negotiating with?
Read some previous pieces of mine:
"Making your goals feel easy, even on hard days, is a huge life hack. It means you don’t ever feel like you’ve failed, and that makes continuing so much easier." Yes! Lately I've been putting on a favourite track and then doing tiny bits of art play (painting, pastels, etc) for 10 minutes or so, or singing or working on a song, even when tired and it's shown me that there things don't have to be big onerous tasks, they can be simple, joyful and easy and bring me energy!
Loved this post and hearing about your evolving gentleness towards yourself.
The line about doing way too much while believing you’re not doing enough -- it hit me because I know this place as well, vōx.
There’s something very honest in admitting you’re learning the same lesson again, not as failure but as a cycle your body keeps asking you to slow down inside of. I especially felt the shift toward involving your body, not just your mind. ‘To show my body it’s safe now’ is such a tender intention. This doesn’t read like productivity advice. God thanks! It reads like someone trying to come home to themselves.